When you round up a vulnerable and isolated population, create a community space and fail to moderate it or protect your users, you create a dangerous environment.
Why I Will Never Support Herpes Dating Sites
These folks would be better served by a support community than a dating app. STI dating services are a product of the stigma, not an empowering way out of it. Not to mention that people with herpes are diverse. Having a minor skin condition in common is a shoddy foundation for a healthy relationship. I think most people who have had herpes for a few years know this too. The only people who ask me about herpes dating sites have just been diagnosed and are still daunted by the idea of disclosing—a fear I encourage them to tackle instead of pursuing these trap door dating sites.
Dating with an STI: 7 ways to navigate the (often harsh) dating world - National | thechuckglencumsnut.tk
Which leads me to my next concern: Some of them bring on consultants in the sexual health world, but only after the fact, and by and large their founders do not come from our community. These entrepreneurs may believe they have our best interests at heart, but they will never understand the stigma as well as someone who lives with it. They do not listen to the needs and opinions of this community, and they take funding and attention away from real efforts to provide treatment and testing, and to de-stigmatize sexual health.
STI dating services are almost always unethical money-grabs that prey on what seems like a potentially underserved niche market. This Silicon Valley opportunism is antithetical to real social change and progress. They reach out to me, share my posts and my talks on their social media platforms, and contact my fellow activists when I refuse to collaborate with them. You cannot say your service fights STI stigma when it relies on stigma to exist. What we need is better sex education and health care, access to therapy and more representation.
These companies are nothing but vultures, co-opting the language of activism. Get my name outcha mouth and get off my lawn. I contracted HSV-1 unknown location in my late 40s. Like other posters, I would rather avoid the worry of passing the virus to someone else by finding someone that already has it. My ex-wife had it, and I never worried about it.
The irony is that I never got it from her after 17 years of marriage…I got it from a casual fling afterwards. Invariably, most of the women I find on the sites have HSV-2 genitally. So far, ALL of the women in my area are Type 2. I have even been under considerable stress…and nothing. That look hurts me. They have to decide if its worth it?
Im like 8 years positive and i wonder about the sites, never touched them, but wondered because screw the talk…. Someone with it wont force me to experience that with them. I had sex unprotected and contracted so its my bad. Anyway, when you tell someone and they accept it, do you simply use antivirals, condoms, or just wait a week if you feel a sore? Thank you for this.
My daughter recently contracted herpes and I was thinking about these sites as a way to support her. I am now looking at them in a total different light. She is a bright outgoing fun person and should not let this stop her in anyway — nor limit her potential friend or dating pool.
Again — thank you. I see your point, however I believe that these sites allow individuals the sense of safety in knowing they will not pass this virus onto a partner. That is all I am looking for. Although women want to be with me despite me disclosing my condition, I can barely fathom the thought that by accident I could possibly pass this virus onto them.
- Positive Singles.
- Why I Will Never Support Herpes Dating Sites – Ella Dawson.
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- Herpes Dating Online.
- Herpes Dating Tips – Herpes Support Groups – Herpes Social Groups – Herpes Help.
I would much rather find someone with the same virus I have for the mere fact that we can understand one another and feel comfortable with intimacy. And for the most part, people staying in the herpes-only dating pool is only due to being afraid of having the herpes talk ultimately, fear of rejection.
What are we so afraid of? The talk is the scary but everyone knowing and becoming even more secluded is scarier.
But these apps seem to be more fit for people in larger areas which makes it hard. When do you feel a talk to some one you just starting dating or want to date be brought up obviously there might be immediate action in certain situations. Everything you said, yes!!! In turn, someone with an STI could meet someone without an infection, but who is open to the idea of being with someone who does. In this situation, education is key, she says, and you have to be direct and confident to bring up the conversation as it comes.
This, of course, is something only people with that STI would know. For example, herpes is How to start dating again after ending a long-term relationship. If you want people to know you are STI- or STD-positive, add it your profile page to weed out people who consider it a deal breaker. This is different for every dater, Pierce says. Some people like to take it slow and get to know someone before telling them about their infection.
However, if sex is involved, again, you need to be direct. If you are having trouble bringing up the conversation, practice before hand. Talk about what your STI means, what your worries are and what you think of the dating experience with this person so far. Please read our Commenting Policy first.